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Carl phoned me yet again. Carl calls a lot. Someone should plunder that guy's telephone. He says "Hail." One word then silence. With Carl a pattern has developed.

We-Carl, I, others-live in a close-knit neighborhood. Everyone knows one another so Carl posits this intimacy, this fate proximity is reason to take control of telephone lines as if he's the most diminutive Mussolini ever.

Quickly I inquire the reason for the call. He asks me to come over to his house so he could show me something. Ok, Carl, following an exhaustive list of excuses. Carl was great at this. If Carl is great at anything, that thing is unfurling

His yard is about as unrestrained as his personality. For example: his lawn always displays seasonal decorations. Winter is just ending and so what is on display? A large, inflatable bunny. Gaudily it welcomes me. Carl opens his door before I am able to ring the doorbell. He has a cheesy smile. He takes me by my arm back out to the front lawn. He looks up. I look up. I wonder why. This should be interesting.

I discover Carl asked me over so he could tell me about his gutter covers, which he says keeps debris out of his gutters. And Carl, for once, had something worthwhile.

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